You remember that game The Sims? You’d play for a week, get bored, and stop paying attention to it. Then you’d go check up on it months later, and your little guy has pissed the bed, his happiness bar is at zero, he’s fucked up all his relationships, and the damn house is on fire.
When do you suppose God is going to check up on this game again?
This was supposed to be a video of me singing in the car, a proud tradition amongst my friends and one of the things in life that makes me happiest.
Except have you ever seen a video of yourself singing? That shit was horrifying. I sounded like Screech during early puberty.
But that’s okay, because I still love it. And it still makes me happy. And, oxymoronic as it is to post this on Instagram, I don’t need to share everything that makes me happy in order to still enjoy it.
So I probably won’t be posting those videos of me getting blacked out drunk and masturbating either.
#heyooo #TMMyass #nonselfiedickpics
Despite the fact that I grew up in Ohio — or more accurately *because* I grew up there and it fucking sucked — I never felt any devotion to Ohio sports teams. So I thought Ohioans were way too quick to demonize LeBron when he left in 2010 and are being just as rash to immediately forgive him now that he’s going back.
Yet when I see all my Ohio friends on Facebook so unanimously proud and euphoric over their prodigal son’s return and declaration of his love for a region that often gets a derisive reputation, I can only feel happy for them. I’ve been to a Cavs game when LeBron played for Cleveland. These people just care about things like this on a level that the fairweather, bandwagoning Heat fanbase never did, never could, and never will.
I haven’t been a fan of LeBron for years, but I am happy that Ohio fans finally get their native son back.
Now go get Kevin Love.
#cleveland #lebron #boshgoinghometootojurassicpark
I worked close to 16 hours on July 4th driving for UberX. To many, that sounds like a miserable way to spend a holiday, but I fully enjoyed it. I hung out by the beach, made some bank, and spent the whole day talking to my favorite type of women: drunk women.
What would I have done if I didn’t work? Go to some bar, spend a lot of money, and still not get laid.
At least I’d be drunk though, but I’ll take the loot and the conversations.
#latergram #beachday #whoamikiddingidratherbedrunk (at Redondo Beach, Cali)
If you consider yourself an artist in any creative field and put enough of your work out there, you will encounter both success and failure, though not necessarily in equal measures. How you react to that determines whether you are creating a product or creating art.
If you are creating a product, you ask many questions.
If your work was unsuccessful, what went wrong? What should have been done differently? What lessons can be learned? What can be done to correct these issues next time? What should you do next?
If your work was successful, what went right? Is the formula recreateable, and should your recreate it? How can you build on this? How can you make it bigger and even better? What should you do next?
If you are creating art, you ask only one question. Is what you put out what you wanted people to see?
If no, then take it down.
If yes, then your work is done.
This dude was sitting on a median in the middle of the street under a highway holding an American flag and eating a box of donuts. He wasn’t working or asking for money. He was just chilling and eating donuts.
I see a guy like that, and I wonder two things. A. What is he doing? B. What does he know that I don’t know?
I’m obviously projecting here, but I think he’s got some shit figured out that I’m still trying to work through. He’s not on Facebook sweating what his college classmates are doing. He’s not at the gym obsessing over looking swoll. He’s not wondering if he’ll ever become what he wants everyone to believe he could become.
It’s a beautiful day outside, he wanted to eat a box of delicious pastries, and he loves America. Whatever other burdens in life he may have, he ain’t worried about them right now. And I envy that.
#zen #yolo #hatersgonnahate (at Venice blvd X Robertson blvd)
I’m actually a pretty vocal opponent of religion, so you might assume I frown upon a man dressed as Jesus Christ walking around LA posing for photos.
No, actually I love that Jesus walks around LA, striking Jesus-y poses. I love that he doesn’t hang out on Hollywood Blvd charging tourists to take pictures like Spider-Man and Captain America over there do. I love that he just goes to parties, eats at restaurants and picks up his dry cleaning like any regular person, except dressed as Jesus.
I appreciate what Jesus, as a person, represented, and I like to think this guy is just trying to embody that in the most literal way possible. Really, I don’t know if this guy’s on a mission, if he just thinks it’s funny, or if he’s insane. Still, I got nothing but love for you, Jesus.
#dtla #igersla #jesuswearsnikes (at Downtown Los Angeles, Los Angeles, California)
He doesn’t listen. He’s not loyal. His mouth smells like the inside of a dumpster. @chtarfish will tell you his best quality is just that he’s soft, but really it’s that, at the end of the day, he still only wants to snuggle up next to you. @timberthegoof
#dogstagram #instadog #caughtmeslippin