Reblog: 99 Life Hacks to make your life easier
Mind = Blown shialabeowulf: Read More
This is an insult.
It is very difficult for me to act consistently like a mature adult. I am arrogant. I am condescending. I am petty. I am self-righteous. I hate to lose or even seem like I lost. Yet I have long-ago discovered that, when arguing with people, they tend to be more open-minded and prone to reaching a mutually agreeable resolution if you remain calm, objective, and even deferential at times. But...
I suck at OKCupid
Earlier this year, I finally had a little success getting some scripts written. It is one of my greatest embarrassments that I moved out to L.A. over three years ago and still barely have any written material that I’m proud enough to show anybody, much less submit to a contest or fellowship. Thus it was a great feeling finally to be closing out script after script, even if they were just...
The greatest power that exists is the power of creation. I learned that from a children’s cartoon when I was a kid, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Creation is the highest form of power. I am not a creator. I wish I were. I wish words and ideas and characters and motives and circumstances coalesced fluidly in my mind and flowed through my fingertips onto paper as perfect,...
What does it mean to be an aspiring screenwriter?
Writing. Lots of writing. Rewriting. Hating your script. Hating yourself. Rewriting. Begging your friends to read your script and give you notes. Waiting. Rewriting. Reminding your friends you sent them a script to read. Waiting. Reading their notes. Hating their notes. Hating them. Rewriting. Sending your script out to contests, agents, managers, producers. Waiting. Nothing. Sending it out to...
Childhood Super Powers vs. Adulthood Super Powers
As a child, I wanted the ability to: 1. Fly like Superman 2. Read minds like Professor X 3. Become super strong when I’m angry like the Hulk As an adult, I want the ability to: 1. Look like Superman, without working out 2. Never need sleep like Jack Bauer 3. Become super erect even when I’m drunk like every teen dad from my Ohio high school If I could only have one, though,...
1. More writing. 2. Less drinking. 3. No strip clubs. Let’s go.
This isn't a New Year's Resolution. This is the...
There are some who say the Mayans never intended 12/21/2012 to mark the Apocalypse, but that it was simply the end of another Mayan calendar cycle. The fact that the world looks eerily similar to how it did before 12/21/2012 would seem to validate their hypothesis. Fuck’em. They’re wrong. The world ended. You survived. This is the new world. Whoever you were before, you are no...
Do not put statements in the negative form. And don’t start sentences with a...– William Safire (via mycolorbook) Hehe *snort*
This pretty much is the definition of "Adding...
Or, alternately: Caught you slippin’
And in that moment, Dan was reminded once again why he wanted to write in the...– Jeremy Goodwin, Sports Night
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent...– Leon C. Megginson, imprecisely paraphrasing—not quoting—Charles Darwin
"It turns out I didn’t actually like my old life... →
This caustic blog entry was written by New Zealand ad exec Linds Redding earlier this year, seven and a half months before he died from esophageal cancer on Halloween. In it, he rants against the advertising industry, but it’s amazing how much he says can be directly related to any creative industry (i.e. filmmaking). A relevant excerpt: Truly creative people tend not to be motivated by...
One day our children will wonder why there was a period in history when every...– Don’t remember, but wish it were me.
Fap fap fap. Hey, what's that? Oh, it's my brain...
Each of us is only granted a finite amount of time, a finite number of resources, a finite level of ability. Each of us can only accomplish so much within the constraints set by whatever higher sentience or cosmic chance exists beyond those limits, but what wonders arise nonetheless out of our ephemeral journeys under the supposed burdens of these existential mandates. Unremarkable drudges...
Stress Kills and Does These Other Things Too
Stress has been cited as a potential source for the following negative conditions: Wrinkles, gray hair, fatigue, insomnia, anorexia, obesity, diarrhea, headaches, heart disease, asthma, impotence, drug addiction, depression, rage, Alzheimer’s disease, weak immune system, cranky nervous system, old man knees, weak handshake, eye crusties in the morning, crying all the damn time, sexual...
I've contracted AIDS. From an African prostitute.
Just a quick reminder of the greatness that is Liam Neeson.
At my last job in D.C. three years ago, I made around $1100.40 a week after taxes, insurance, and a 10% contribution to my 401(k). That may be chump change compared to what my then-colleagues are making now, but it was a pretty good amount for me at the time. At my writer’s office job this year, I made $519.26 a week after taxes and insurance. These days I can’t even dig up a quarter...
Fuck it. I'll just root for USC.
I went to Carnegie Mellon, and—over a very long time—I’ve developed a fondness for it. But it was a Division III school. I never even knew a football game was going on until I walked by the stadium, which was half the size of my high school’s stadium, on my way to get lunch. So every Labor Day weekend (and also for three weeks between March and April every year), I watch...
Chinese bootleg copy of The Avengers. Poorly...
bileto: and I cried because Read More
What Is the Worst Feeling In the World?
I hate this fucking question. It’s not invalid in and of itself, but the pathetic answers people contrive make glaringly obvious the marginal, insignificant worlds in which so many of our minds are isolated. This answer or some variation of it is the most common I hear: “To love someone, and not have that someone love you back.” Listen motherfucker. Let’s say a...
Agnosticism: It's Atheism for the...
God has always been the manifestation of everything humanity does not understand about the world in which it exists. As with all things unknown, some will regard God with fear while others will regard God with hope. It depends where they are in the life that they do know. Yet as the collective knowledge of humanity grows, God inevitably shrinks. For every discovery and scientific...
A-List Actresses Are Most Likely to Sleep With:
1. The lead actor 2. The director 3. A supporting actor 4. A producer 5. Her agent . . . 297. The catering guy 298. The guy who empties the trash from her trailer 299. A lecherous cousin 300. The screenwriter ?
I'M A BOSS
Dear Mr. Chen: We have completed our investigation of this accident. Based on the investigation, we have determined that the driver of the insured vehicle was 51% or more responsible, and thus deemed to be principally at-fault for this accident. Our determination of fault was based on the following: You hit the parking garage pillar. If you wish to have this determination reconsidered or...
Patience and Focus
Those are the primary traits that I need to get through the inanities that compose 99% of pursuing this dream. They’re what I rely on when I tell myself that good things may be happening right now while I’m stuck here writing, but better things will happen later because right now I’m here writing. Equally important and required in large quantities are an unshakable sense of...